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Taking Head Out Of Ass Best Thing To Happen To Gordon

July 7th, 2008 · No Comments

Uploaded on February 13, 2008 by The Freewheeling Daredevil on FlickrRobby Gordon’s #7 team has had its share of struggles this season.  The driver had high hopes going into the 2008 season, but the on track performance has failed to produce results for the struggling team.  A combination of bad luck, equipment failures, and on track mishaps have put a black mark on Robby Gordon Motorsports and, as a result, the team is struggling to attract sponsorship for the #7 car.

Faced with the harsh economic realities of operating a team in NASCAR’s Sprint Cup Series, the team began to look inward to see what they can do to change their fortunes and keep the team afloat. 

“We watched hours upon hours of race footage to try and see what we were missing,” said Buford Cobblestone, Director of Media for Robby Gordon Motorsports.  “We examined footage from our pit stops, calculated our laps time in relation to the other teams and we couldn’t find any one thing that would explain the performance we were seeing on the track.”  After one particularly long tape viewing session, Cobblestone was about to leave the room disappointed.  That is, until something caught his eye.  “I was in the tape room gathering my stuff together and fixin’ to go home when out of the corner of my eye I seen footage of Robby getting out of the car.  There it was right there in front of me plain as day.  Robby was driving with his head in his ass.  I can count the number of times I told Robby over the radio to get his head out of his ass.  I never dreamed that was really the reason we were performing so badly.” 

Before last Saturday’s Coke Zero 400 at Daytona International Speedway, Gordon underwent a complicated medical procedure to remove his head from his ass.  The result was a 6th place finish and a renewed sense of confidence for the team. 

“It’s really done wonders,” said Cobblestone.  “I can’t believe we didn’t think of it sooner.  Now Robby can see the pedals and the track is in front of him.  I’m excited for what the future holds.  Its amazing how such a little thing like taking your head out of your ass can turn things around for you.” 

The head in the ass condition that Gordon was suffering from affects over 2 million American’s each year and most cases go untreated.  Symptoms of head in the ass range from blurred vision to a distorted sense of one’s abilities.  Reportedly, Robby Gordon Motorsports will donate a portion of each race’s winnings to head in the ass research. 

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nice
whew ! thanks for changing the text to white. I think my color scheme to the site and site-style will change in the upcoming weeks, once I get my new logos finished.
Actually I should have just pasted the raw text, instead of trying to preserve the styling from the original. There's some funny stuff on that site though!
I just spewed my coke all over the computer! THANKS! lol
I just knew somebody would diagnose the problem correctly!!!!! Makes perfect sense!!!
Bloody funny.
Damn that Head in the Ass problem! If this condition is caught early a hard yank will solve the problem without surgery. I know many people who suffer, which is why I am thinking about starting the Head in the Ass foundation. It's up to us to help these people. Please give...whether it be money or time...you can make a difference helping people pull their head out of thier ass!
Geeze, he sounded pretty good on the scanner at Daytona, not muffled at all. If he's breathing o.k., should prolly just leave well enough alone. Obviously it works, bless his heart.
sounds like half the people i know have this disorder
Well, I know the other half of those people, work with some, drive around some, see some on TV too....we really need that foundation.
I was going to say that this explains so much about my driving on the road and my general attitude. I am soo excited, I think I will call the Dr. and see if he's familiar with the surgery. My wife would probably drive me to the hospital for that surgery, as fast as I did her for pregnancy!
does this problem grow back? Does it need repeated surgery?

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