#7 Monster Energy Aaron’s 499 at Talladega

Pre Race Report

·         We Can See The Top 35 In The Dashboard Lights – Robby Gordon Motorsports finds itself a mere 1 point outside the coveted top-35 in owner’s points and must qualify their way into the race at Talladega. Following a workman-like 26^th place finish at Texas, Monster Energy is back on the RGM #7 Camry as the primary sponsor for the event. There is no truth to the rumor that 70’s rock star, Meat Loaf, will appear on the hood of the #7 this week.

·         I Feel the Nead for Speed – Following the surprise announcement by RGM two weeks ago that former crew chief and all-around COT chassis set-up champ Gene Nead would serve as play-caller during the Phoenix and Texas races, all RG fans are wondering, will Nead be back for Dega? While there has been no confirmation at the time of this writing who will be in the box, long-time RG fan and former RGM intern Garrett “Jackie” Gleason is optimistic. “Look, it’s no secret I have a huge man crush on Gene…and I’m comfortable with saying that now that I have an actual girlfriend.”

·         Nap Time for Monster Truck Driver? – RGM’s off-road division is working over-time to complete their Monster² truck and took the newest member of RG’s dirt beasts for a test run. During a particularly spirited jump session, Gordon’s test driver flew several hundred feet (approximately) into the air and landed squarely on the truck’s enormous treads. Unfortunately for the driver, the re-entry into the earth’s atmosphere was rougher than expected and to quote Rob’s tweet, “my friend went to sleep.”  Fortunately, the driver had a full recovery and the truck was no worse for the wear.

Robby Gordon quotes: “Well, we’re just outside the top 35, so we’ll need to find some speed during qualifying. I am confident thought that we’ll be racing on Sunday and I look forward to taking the #7 Monster Camry to the front of the field. Gene gave us some great help over the past two weeks and has even suggested a couple of ideas to try at Dega. Course, we won’t be messing around with the TV camera bubble for better aerodynamics. That didn’t work out too well a couple of years ago.”

Crew Chief quotes: “I’m very pleased to serve as Robby’s new crew chief,” said (fill-in name here). “I’m only too happy to help RG get to the winners circle on Sunday, noted (fill-in name here)”.

Editor’s Note: Continuing a popular feature on Slider’s pre race reports, I’m once again pleased to feature another Monster Girl for the enjoyment of RGM fans. Today’s offering is the lovely Diana Covington. Just like bump drifting at Dega, I’m sure all you guys (and maybe some gals?) will want to get behind the attractive Covington.