Atlanta Motor Speedway Kobalt Tools 500
Jim Beam Toyota Pre Race Report

• Leaving Las Vegas – In a nod to singer/songwriter Sheryl Crow, Robby Gordon Motorsports left Las Vegas with lady luck on their side, finishing the caution-plagued Shelby 427 in 15th place. While the Jim Beam Toyota came up snake-eyes for most of the race resulting from an ill-handling car, team owner Robby Gordon was able to play the come with his lucky 7 ride. While unhappy with the performance of his car, Gordon was pleased to rush back to his motor coach for his traditional winner-winner chicken dinner (Editors Note: Enough Vegas clichés for you, Fat Back?).

• Nascar Driver or Autograph Hound? – In what was certainly the most inspired and touching story to be heard in Sin City since ol’ blue eyes kissed Sammy Davis Jr. square on the lips at the midnight show at the Sands Hotel in 1959, Robby Gordon turned the good deed of the year through his random act of support for U.S. forces fighting in Iraq. Sir Gordon reached out to 34 of his driver colleagues to collect autographs for a poster going to the troops on the front lines. With the shapely image of Ms. Camile Toe on the poster to inspire them, nearly all of the drivers were supportive of the effort. Notable drivers to decline the request included Michael “what’s a toe?” Waltrip, Carl “I need some toe” Edwards, and Joey “somebody just tow me” Logano.

• New Chassis for Atlanta – For this week’s Kobalt Tools 500, RGM will debut a new chassis, affectionately named by the team as “the one”. When asked the origin of this nickname, Robby noted that the crew saw many similarities between the construction of this car and the current U.S. president. The chassis cost more than anything RGM has ever built, each tube and weld conveys the audacity of hope, it is meant to liberally correct the really, really, really, really tight handling characteristics of past conservative set ups, and it looks a lot like a Portuguese Water Dog. (Editors Note: That Water Dog bit…that’s just a joke for any RGM employees who might read this. I’m sure the car really doesn’t look like a dog…….right?)

Robby Gordon Quote: (Editors Note: As a result of past pre race reports, officials from RGM have declined to provide a quote for this report. When the editor queried why the shut-out, the response was simply that many of the wives and girlfriends of RGM crew members didn’t appreciate the inference of shenanigans, tom-foolery and ballyhoo by said members at a local “establishment.” The editor deeply apologizes for any harm caused to crew members and their reputations.)