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Taking Head Out Of Ass Best Thing To Happen To Gordon

July 7th, 2008 · No Comments

Uploaded on February 13, 2008 by The Freewheeling Daredevil on FlickrRobby Gordon’s #7 team has had its share of struggles this season.  The driver had high hopes going into the 2008 season, but the on track performance has failed to produce results for the struggling team.  A combination of bad luck, equipment failures, and on track mishaps have put a black mark on Robby Gordon Motorsports and, as a result, the team is struggling to attract sponsorship for the #7 car.

Faced with the harsh economic realities of operating a team in NASCAR’s Sprint Cup Series, the team began to look inward to see what they can do to change their fortunes and keep the team afloat. 

“We watched hours upon hours of race footage to try and see what we were missing,” said Buford Cobblestone, Director of Media for Robby Gordon Motorsports.  “We examined footage from our pit stops, calculated our laps time in relation to the other teams and we couldn’t find any one thing that would explain the performance we were seeing on the track.”  After one particularly long tape viewing session, Cobblestone was about to leave the room disappointed.  That is, until something caught his eye.  “I was in the tape room gathering my stuff together and fixin’ to go home when out of the corner of my eye I seen footage of Robby getting out of the car.  There it was right there in front of me plain as day.  Robby was driving with his head in his ass.  I can count the number of times I told Robby over the radio to get his head out of his ass.  I never dreamed that was really the reason we were performing so badly.” 

Before last Saturday’s Coke Zero 400 at Daytona International Speedway, Gordon underwent a complicated medical procedure to remove his head from his ass.  The result was a 6th place finish and a renewed sense of confidence for the team. 

“It’s really done wonders,” said Cobblestone.  “I can’t believe we didn’t think of it sooner.  Now Robby can see the pedals and the track is in front of him.  I’m excited for what the future holds.  Its amazing how such a little thing like taking your head out of your ass can turn things around for you.” 

The head in the ass condition that Gordon was suffering from affects over 2 million American’s each year and most cases go untreated.  Symptoms of head in the ass range from blurred vision to a distorted sense of one’s abilities.  Reportedly, Robby Gordon Motorsports will donate a portion of each race’s winnings to head in the ass research. 

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Once the head has been in the ass for an extended period of time, it spawns off smaller heads that can reappear anytime they want in the future!!!!!!! That being said, a head will always be in your ass until you die!!!! Not sure if you can pass you head in your ass on to any of your team-mates or not!!!! Ooooooops, not ablicable in this case!!! Further study will be necessary!!!!!!!!
This head-in-the-ass phenomenon explains so much, as in RG's lack of TV time during most qualifying sessions, Speed usually goes to commercial when Robby comes out onto the track. The sight through the windshield is just too disturbing.
Hi guys - I know this was posted as a joke, but if RG read it I think he would be offended. Robby gives 110% every week and works harder than most owner/drivers (mikey). Let's not knock him, even in jest. Joan
Robby would laugh his ass off at that. He aint a pansy.

but bless your heart !
Who hasn't had their head in their ass at some point or many points in their life? As for treatment, laughing our assoff at ourself would probably be the best treatment of all! Good idea TOG. We all need to laugh at ourselves more often.
That's the truth Shantel! If one can't laugh at their shortcomings and blunders, they must be living a miserable existence. What's the alternative - cry? I prefer to laugh.
Funny stuff! I wonder if the author is speaking from personal experience?
to have that 'deep' of an understanding of the subject, I would think he/she would have to have a working knowledge of head up the ass syndrom.
Does that mean when I scream and flip off the morons that almost run me off the road that I'm actually offending handicapped people? OMG now I feel bad. And I thought they were just morons! I didn't know. wimper...sob

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